Journal Entry 10

• Paddling canoes with Kyle, Miranda, Raylene, Jeremy, & Tom
• Finally climbed the rock wall!!!
• Held spot the snake
• Went zip-lining twice
• Went down the Minechute
• Took down the Indian Hut & was covered head to foot in dirt
• Hung in the A-Frame & just finished "If I Stay"

Journal Entry 9

• Finally a day off!
• Breakfast with Miranda, Josh, Gigi, Gabby, Andie, Jeremy
• Cinnamon Rolls :)
• Dollar Tree, Kmart (getting hit on by some random guys -.-), and Copper Q where I finally got free wifi & was in civilization
• Dinner with Andie, Gabby, Gigi, Miranda, and Dani @ Hacienda (taquitos & flan FTW)
• Sandie's where Freddie met us to watch the soccer game
• Hanging out in the A-frame

Week Two Readings

Living Faith

The Just Shall Live by Faith 

The Bhagavad Gita states, "Nonviolence, truth, slowness to wrath, the spirit of dedication, serenity, aversion to slander, tenderness to all that lives, freedom from greed, gentleness, modesty, freedom from levity, spiritedness, forgiveness, fortitude, purity, freedom from ill will and arrogance-these are to be found in one born with the divine heritage."

"For evil to bend it's knees, admitting its guilt, to implore the forgiveness of God, is the hardest thing in the world."

"Meditation is a from of cultivating inner strength. And inner strength means inner peace. If you acquire inner strength that means that you are in a position to be able to face the troubles of the external world. And in that way, you can create your own sense of security, which come from your inner strength. So, therefore, you are creating your own peace, as it were." Aung San Suu Kyi

How Can I Help

Who’s helping?

“A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself. His thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

“How does who we think we are affect what we have to give?”

“Hundreds of times a day, we shift costumes to fit appropriate roles. This is the life of the separate self, moving through the world of ‘other’.” This made me question how many identities I have.

“Because we often identify ourselves, consciously or not, with our shortcomings, we may feel that we don’t have enough, that we just aren’t enough, to help meet the needs of others. We give very little because we feel very small.”

“We seem to cling to one dimension of our identity at the expense of the others. We specialize.”

“If any of these roles are who we think we are…what’s left when they fall away? Where’s the rest of me?” What happens when I’m no longer a student? A daughter? A church member? With it gone also goes my feeling of importance.

“If we’re only seeing one part of the picture about ourselves, positive or negative, that’s all we’ll be able to make real to anybody else.”

“Who you? This man took away my degree, and then gave it back to me with ‘And also…? And also… and also? Scribbled across. I’ll never forget that.” I am more than just a job description, all the things I’ve done and experienced also make me up and make me so much more than any one title can.”

“Moving in and out of these various identities, each is ‘real’ only at the moment we are invested in it. But if all our identities are only relatively real, coming and going as circumstances warrants, is there any part of us that remains steady and stable behind all our roles? Behind all these identities is a state of awareness that incorporates them all and yet is still able to rest behind them.”

“We don’t have to be anybody in particular. We don’t have to be ‘this’ or ‘that.’ We are free simply to be.” I don’t just want to be __________ when I grow up. I want to be a wife, a mother, educator, care giver, friend, so many things… I just want to be. So we look for and cherish those experiences in which we feel ourselves connected to all things in the universe.

“To forget the Self is to be enlightened by all things.”

Journal Entry 8

• High ropes
• Theatre
• Low Ropes
• Pool Party
• SANDIE'S!!! :)
• Creeping ride with Tony
• Playing pool
• Cashier breaking down

Journal Entry 7

• Breakfast
• Nature Hike
• Minechute
• Dance
• Indian Lore
• Running errands with Josh
• Wildlife
• Wall climbing

Journal Entry 6

• Sexual Harassment videos for HOURS... fml we were all dosing off
• Fired a gun for the first time and a bow & arrow
• Took a hike/tour around camp
• Got to see Venus & the Moon through the observatory telescope
• Camp fire listening to all of Sean's crazy stories when he was on duty as a cop & all the incidents he's been apart of & also some of Mendez's
• Bonding :)
• "Kung-Fu Grape"
• Science is cool

Journal Entry 5

Staff projects with Josh #1 which involved moving folder after folder of file from the office above the barn down to the storage cottage (I believe it's called), & I finally got to pet one of the cats! (Which is strictly forbidden, but I couldn't resist!) After that we learned how to operate the Minechute which was so much fun & brought out the kid in me. :) After that we really didn't know what else to do, so we pretty much did whatever Josh could think of and went on a tour around camp. BUT THE BEST OF ALL WAS THAT I FINALLY ZIP-LINED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!! :D I was so nervous but it was so cool! I also fished for the first time & caught two. By the end of the night we were all pretty much exhausted, but I ended the night listening to all the crazy stories that Freddie, Miranda, Mendez, & Morgan, who joined in at the end of the night, had to tell. It was a day of first & bringing out the child in me & also getting to better know my staff members.

~Gaga ball & Fingerprinting

Journal Entry 4

Doctor Physicals/ Drug Tests were today. I made a complete ass of myself when I misheard him & did what was really more of skating motion towards him & accidentally followed him into another room. After we were done we came back and had lunch where we then had a really long & tiring program staff meeting/ information overload day. We took breaks in between, but after dinner we were allowed to have the day off. I came back to my cabin to read "If I Stay" & ended up taking a really long & needed nap. We just finished the day with a camp fire playing mind game & I got to know a lot more about Sean, his wife, & the birth of their new baby girl. I also did laundry for the first time here even though it took me and Miranda forever to figure out how to open the shed. The fact that the night ended with country music playing and all us of gathered together & just being with one another strengthened the bonds that we have. Hopefully this proves that we are a great team. Tomorrow the head hanchos come so we'll see how that goes & I might go zip-lining for the first time too.

Journal Entry 3

For the amount of work we did today, it was so much fun. We did what were called "staff projects." Freddie, Mendez, Justin, Tony, Sean, Abby, Danielle, Diana, Brittney and I went to go dump a surplus of junk that had accumulated around the dumpster. Granted it was very dirty & demanded a bit of hard work, we got it finished as a team by creating a line formation and some others had fun doing karate kicks to break some of the boards in half so they would fit. It's true when they say that the best way to get to know people is by working with them. After that Andie & Robo Josh sent us out to go paint the "whale watch." It was Dani, Brittney, Abby, Diana, and me. We talked, laughed, hammered, and painted. By the end it looked like a pool table and found it hilarious when Diana got brown paint on her knees. I think I'm going to start calling her "Brownies." Crap, I forgot, before or after that we moved wood into a shed and after we broke for lunch I finally learned how to canoe! It was my first time ever & I loved t! Granted it's not very easy, but eventually you get the hang of it. I think we had dinner after that, and we all went to what was my very first campfire within an actual camp. There were skits (Raisin, Pot holder, Hippo Dance, Arcade Showdown) & we are s'mores in the true campfire spirit. The best part was singing after, going back to the A-Frame, hanging out, and I think I finally learned/understand how to play Texas hold 'em or something like that... This day reminded me of that quote from Divergent where Tris says that if her life is filled with loud noise from the laughter of the people around her & the exhaustion from working a long, hard, but satisfying day, that she wouldn't mind at all and would be content all the days of her life. I finally understand, and after a day like today I can say that I'm truly happy. :)

 

Journal Entry 2

Today's training took FOREVER. We learned about CPR, First Aide, & all that good important stuff. I chickened out doing the lifeguard test even though I specifically wanted to make a change in myself  by not letting me get in my way of what I am capable of accomplishing. It's mostly my own fear, indecision, and lack of confidence that gets in the way. I NEED TO STOP THAT. This should definitely be a new summer goal of mine. Anyways, by the end of the day we were all so exhausted by all the training, but we ended the day with a staff BBQ @ the A-Frame. While waiting for the food to finish up/be cooked I got introduced to Raisin (Katie/best person EVER) & she taught us how to play thumbs, toaster/elephant/rabbit, & something else called Looky Shoes. After that, we were surprised with lame group games & a meeting that lasted into the cold night. We're all a little worried about how camp will go this year with all these crazy rules, but where there is such a great will to have fun there is, or I will find, a way to may it happen. Let's see what tomorrow holds. :) 
~I also got a chance to call mom & dad & Alex for her birthday
~Also the day Potato got his camp name :)

Week One Readings

Living Faith

Mystic-Activists: An Introduction

 

"Lord, I'm down here trying to do what's right. I think I'm right. I think the cause we represent is right. But Lord, I must confess that I'm weak now. I'm faltering. I'm losing my courage." MLK jr

"... stand up for righteousness. Stand up for justice. Stand up for truth. And lo I will be with you, even until the end of the world." What is easy isn't always right, and what right isn't always easy  but those leaders"...were willing to sacrifice their lives because they believed that it was possible to create a future that was more just  and more reconciled."

"There is no God, no Buddha... There is no God, no help." Thoughts of a survivor of Hiroshima as the nuclear bomb was dropped.

"Today, more than ever, we need leaders who choose to resist despair and embrace faith and hope."

It takes one to make a change, a fight for justice, for what's right. It's not an easy road or an easy life, to commit to, but without these people, peace would not thrive & it would not prevail.

"I write with an agenda & a passion."

"Portraitists write to inform and inspire readers; The portraitists inevitably renders a self-portrait that reveals her soul but she also produces a selfless, systematic examination of the actor's images, experiences, and perspectives. This balance- between documenting the authentic portrait of others and drawing one's self into the line of the piece... is the difficult, complex, nuanced work of the portraitist."

"My own journey colors the way I see, interpret & present the journeys of others."

"Indeed, part of my soul is interwoven with the words and lives of these whose stories inspire and encourage me."  As I encounter many new people in my extraordinary life, I try to make out their characters by gathering what I know based on the experiences I have encountered in my own personal life. How can I understand their pain or loss if I haven't encountered it first hand and know what it feels like? As the people I meet invite me in and give me pieces of themselves, at the same time I am giving them pieces of me. Only then do we really get to know and learn to love each other by seeing, feeling, and  seeing ourselves in one another.

How Can I Help?

Natural Compassion

 

"It's not something we really think about, merely the instinctive response of an open heart. Caring is a reflex." "You live, you help."

"Caring for one another, we sometimes glimpse an essential quality of our being. We're reminded of who we really are and what we have to offer one another." Sometimes I feel lost and don't know what my place in this world is and that scares me and places fear into my heart. But when I am helping someone I love or having a genuine moment with somebody I just met, I feel at peace and for once I feel like I do have some sort of purpose. Whether or not I know what I am meant to do it is these moments that I strive for.

"But there's usually a maze of other motives: a need for self-esteem, approval, status, power; the desire to feel useful, find intimacy, pay back some debt."

How can I keep my heart open and not go under? I've got my own life to live, after all. Still, I'd like to do more for others. What do I have to offer, and what would help most? Complicated business, all this. Look you do the best you can...

"We may have a difficult time facing the suffering of others because we don't know how to deal with our own pain and fear." <<<Something I struggle with all the time.

"Will we look within? Can we see that to be of most service to others we must face our own doubts, needs, and resistances?"
"Who are we to ourselves and to one another?-it will all come down to that."

Journal Entry 1

Let's just say we got completely lost. Seriously, I think we drove around Big Bear Lake at least 3 times. We must have been lost for about 4-5hrs before we called Uncle Lulu to help us. But seeing that sign for the first time saying "CAMP OAKES" was such a relief. The first people I met were Sean, Andie, Gabby (my room mate), & Gigi. I was introduced to the rest of the gang/program staff: Raylene, Miranda, Dani, Abigail, Diana, Brittney, Freddie, Morgan, Jeremy, Justin, Mendez, Emma who's from Dublin, Ireland, & Tom who's from Liverpool, London (Great Britain) in the "A-Frame." After getting introduced, we played a game called Sardines. It was pretty fun, but in the pitch black forest you could hardly see anyone. We gave up after a while & finally got accommodated.